Tears, pain, sorrow, disappointment, a feeling that it is the end of the world and that nothing makes sense anymore –these are some of the accompanying phenomena that people experience after breaking up a serious relationship or divorce. The last thing that comes to mind then is the search for a new partner. But time really cures everything, so at some point we will want to turn a new page and start writing it with a new partner. Make sure you browse our website now if you are in need of legal advice.
While some just need a month or two to get over someone, others need years. They say that after a break, we need at least half the time we spent in the relationship to fully recover, and then only find a new love. That would mean that if you were together for six years, the next three years would be hard for you. Others, however, say that if we were in a serious relationship, we will need between six and 12 months to get better.
However, there is no mathematical formula on the basis of which we can calculate the time for a new relationship. It’s much more important than previous experience, how we feel right now and what we need. For if we have gone from the previous relationship hungry for love, tenderness, excitement and closeness since the relationship was too cold and empty for too long, we would probably want to establish a new relationship as soon as possible in which we will be able to satisfy the deprived needs.
But if the previous relationship was turbulent, filled with conflicts, jealousy, or otherwise emotionally demanding, for example, we invested a lot of energy and time to maintain a relationship that was not good, we will need more time to be alone and to recover. In both cases, it will be useful to set aside time for solitude and consider what we can learn from previous experiences. If the connection lasted for a year or longer, it will take at least a few months before we stop mourning and begin to integrate valuable lessons about ourselves and a partner relationship – says the psychologist.
That’s exactly what Oscar Wilde spoke about when he warned that loneliness is good for the health and that we have to learn to be alone, instead of waiting for another person to complete us. But some people do not know how to be alone, so they do not even wait for the old relationship to “cool”, and they go into a new one. Not only that, but also point out that their new love helped them forget about the old.
Breakups and divorces can help us learn a lot about ourselves – how we communicate, how we deal with insecurity, conflicts, what are we afraid of, what are our most important emotional needs, what kind of partner and what kind of relationship we want. In addition, being single can be as meaningful and fun as being in a relationship. The period of loneliness should be used in the best possible way.